Ride the Rockies 2011- Breastmilk Express

How much is enough? When do we quit? What obstacles will we overcome to achieve a goal? At the end of the day, what are we made of? This past June 11-17, 2011, Ranch West Coast explored these questions when faced with the layman's version of a cycling "Grand Tour."

Ride the Rockies (RTR) is an organized and supported 6 day summer cycling tour through the high alpine Colorado Rocky Mountains. http://ridetherockies.com/

The ride covers 400+ miles total with an average of 60-80 miles distance and 2000-4000 feet of vertical climbing per day, linked point-to-point over multiple mountain ranges topping 7000-12000 feet in elevation.

Some months ago, RiderTurbo and RiderMama registered for the event in anticipation of cycling through the picturesque state of Colorado on a glorious summer ride with 2000 of their closest cycling friends.

As luck would have it, complications arose. RiderMama gave birth to RiderSasha on February 25, 2011. This meant that RiderMama would either need to sacrifice breast feeding four months into RiderSasha's infancy, or devise a way to breast feed on the cycling trip every three hours during daily rides of 6-7 hours or more. Aside from the logistical difficulty of breastfeeding on the roadside in the middle of nowhere each day, would lactic acid accumulation in the breast milk on long rides cause it to taste sour and be rejected by young RiderSasha when she had not yet made the transition to solid food or baby formula?

Complicating matters, RiderMama's very special private graduation ceremony celebrating the glorious completion of her three-year Medical Fellowship in Oncology at UCLA was unexpectedly scheduled for the first day of the RTR tour, in direct conflict with the event registration, pre-arranged travel plans and first two days of the ride. Talk about bad timing.

Beyond that, if the Ranch figured out how to manage the challenges, what would we do with the now-four-year-old RiderZoe? Depart and ride bicycles for a week without her?

And if all this wasn't enough, the apparent final straw: one week prior to the event, RiderTurbo tripped and fell on an early morning run with the dog, breaking his distal radius near the wrist. This required a rigid blue fibreglass cast placed from hand to elbow in order to immoblize the right wrist and hand.

Could Turbo ride with a arm cast over a multiday cycling event on top of Mama's breastfeeding? Maybe grandparents could drive the kids and time breast pump-breaks in the middle of the ride each day? Breastfeeding, broken wrist, schedule conflicts, and questionable logistics with kids in a 400 mile mountain cycling tour 1000 miles from home. Was it enough to make the Ranch quit?
Frailty is not a characteristic associated with the Ranch.

Those who know it as more than a gratuitous moniker, know that the Ranch represents a way of life, a philosophy forged in the rough and tumble landscape of the Western U.S, Canada, the Pampas of Argentina and places alike where men are cut from a different cloth, women are hearty, where healthy livestock roam the plains under a vast, blue sky. The Ranch isn't just a catchy white and yellow lycra outfit with colorful stars and a black horseshoe for decoration. Ranchers are durable individuals who buck up and get the job done no matter the circumstances.

Turbo and Mama rescheduled flights to attend the graduation in L.A. and depart immediately to join the RTR peloton on the third day of riding in the Colorado mountains.

Turbo dismissed doctor's orders to stay off the bike with an armcast. Mama pre-pumped and stockpiled 120 ounces of frozen breastmilk in reserve ice coolers, then got out the breast pump car charger and scheduled rendezevous points in the mountains to "pump and dump" roadside while on the move cycling, bypassing the risk of "lactic laced" milk that RiderSasha would refuse but keeping the breast milk flowing so that Mama's supply didn't dry up.

Ranch grandparents slotted in as private drivers of the support vehilcle to deliver breast pumps, bottles and water to Mama at designated points each day. The Ipad was loaded with $100 worth of the "Fresh Beat Band", "Bubble Guppies", "Imagination Movers" and sundry math and alphabet games for RiderZoe to enjoy while riding backseat in the Jeep with Grandparents.

The Breastmilk Express was leaving the station as planned. It was time to cowboy up and see what we were made of.

And leave it did. After a lovely ceremony with accolades for the now fully fledged oncologist RiderMama, the crew jetted to Colorado and met up with RTR in Avon, just outside of Vail. From there, the team pursued each day with planning and vigor.

The high mountains provided a beautiful backdrop, complete with magnficent views, great climbs and descents and snowy backdrops in the higher elevations. The trip doubled as a family vacation. Each day after riding, the family would join up for dinner and activities. A hike to a waterfall. A dinner out. A chinese food smorgasboard. A nature walk by the river. Playtime in the park. All in all, it turned out to be a magnificent week, culminating with the proud finish of Turbo and Mama in Georgetown, Colorado after hundreds of miles of mountain riding.

What seemed like an insurmountable logistical challenge turned out to be the best riding experience of our lives. Next year, in lieu of the likely long-lost idea of RAAM, we invite all Ranchers to join us for this week-long cycling event and combined family vacation in the most beautiful of settings. Maybe we can all do it together then without breastfeeding and broken arms. It just might the best experience you'll ever have on a bicycle.

Felice Gimondi 2011

So there it was. Another gathering of the Ranch for a festive Felice Gimondi. Ranch riders descended from Vienna, London, and Verbier, all prepared for victory. Rider Howe and Rider NewGuy (Kevin Connors) rolled in to Bergamo having treked 3.5hrs from Verbier. Rider Zinni arrived from Vienna. Rider EzE and Rider Reido in from London.

Registration required much negotiation, as most of us did not send in our Doctor's notes, and Rider Howe was posing as Rider Cahli. In the end, after signifcant negotiation with Race Officials, all of whom appeared to wear pink, Rider Zinni was able to use his local toung to lash out a solution with the Lead Race Official who had ridden a set of fabulous camel toes into the race HQ.

Moving onto pre-race preparations, the Ranch found savory local grub at a fine establishment in the center of La Cita Alta. Local wine and beer was happily consumed to wash down the high carbo pasta intake. Rider Reido was successful to leave multiple gaseous green cloud bombs to stimulate conversation. When asked has he been successful bringing his new girlfriend to blow her load, he responded with conviction, "oooh yeah, with my hand". Marveling in his manhood's (lack of) notable accomplishments, Rider EzE revealed his dinner fixation of an image of the waitress head-bobbing his checkbook for that extra tip. When photo emerged of the team taken by the fat American lady at the next table, it was noted that Rider Howe had mysteriously dropped from the photo while reaching down to finger her belt loop.

Post dinner and listening to his senses, Rider Zinni hit the road back to the hostel in Rider Howe's hairdresser car, while the rest of the Ranch Rider crew followed Rider NewGuy across the square to a local watering hole to sample some highly recommend herbal local liquor known to loosen the bowels (for the following morning's absolutely vital pre-race dump). The problem was that Rider NewGuy kept ordering rounds, with another crushing herbal shot and then a local tap beer to wash it down. Ranch Riders were were pushed out at closing, only to find themselves lured into another local watering hole for a round of Wheat Beer. Again, faces turned, with a local gal in the corner especially interested, as the Rancher conversation drifted to Rider NewGuy convincing everyone in a rather loud and slurring banter of the merits of cornholling.

The morning of the race, Ranchers all awoke to a downpour of rain. Ranchers were to later learn at the race start that the long course was cancelled to to excessive rain and some snow. Several Ranchers reported near vomiting at breakfast when trying to consume grub on the back of the previous night's activities. In the end, all Ranchers rallied and found themselves riding down from the hostel to the start grid to slicing eagerly through consecutive sheets of hammering rain. Arriving with 15min until the start, much of the usual pre-race excitement was clouded by doubt around the extent of the downpour that proceeded to soak the bones and leave the shivers. While waiting for the start gun to blast, Rider Howe was even spotted trying to sit on his saddle in a (hopeless) attempt to "keep it dry for the race".

At the crack of 07:00, the loudspeakers roared and the riders were off. Puddles of water had turned into pools connected by streams. All Gimondi riders held their speeds down as the field nervously weaved through the streets of Bergamo out onto the course. Everyone was thinking about the recent death in the Giro and folks were being responsible, with the exception of a few serous douche bags who sped thru the pack.

The first climb was a welcome opportunity to try to warm frozen limbs and take a break from the wall of water shooting into Ranchers' faces that was streaming off the back tires of the riders in front of us. Thankfully, the rain eventually stopped 1hr into the race and the field began to spread.

Ultimately, each Rancher returned back to the finish line, victorious :

Rider Zinni : following two punctures and a broken chain, all within the first 30min of the race . . !, then getting lost (?) at a roundabout only to find himself back on the course, he finished arms raised as he sped thru the tape to take the checkered flag.

Rider Howe : was in the groove, had found a group of like minded riders and a pace of sheer speed and "atta boy" courage, only to suddenly look-up and notice that his crew had mistakenly chosen the short course. Nonetheless, Rider Howe was seen nearing the finish line out-sprinting all of his new found mates, and then jamming his air-pump into the last fella's wheel to secure a podium finish behind Rider Zinni.

Rider EzE : was triumphant to rise from the ashes, eat a few bites of his breakfast, dodge the tickle in the back of the throat begging for a post-breakfast vomit as his system was rebelling from a third consecutive night of heavy alcoholic energy drinks and sleep deprivation, only to saddle up to the start with a cool sense of calm. Rider EzE was later spotted in the finish line with his hand on the ass of the Avis Rent-a-car chick, and accordingly found himself up on the podium for a notable accomplishment, of sorts.

Rider NewGuy : was calm and collected having been the ringleader in the pre-race bar hop, to whizz through breakfast, shirk any form of extra clothing (not even a vest, arm warmers or a rain jacket) and start the race in only a shorty top, while the sky was raining cats and dogs. Rider NewGuy disappeared into the crowd to post a remarkable 4h25min for the medio course. The courageous effort prompted race organizers to create a fourth podium for yet again another Ranch rider to step up into the glory.

Rider Reido : was also seen concentrating hard to hold back post breakfast near full hurl following previous nights untimely bar crawl, but found courage sitting on the can for his third pre-race dump. Fluids flowing from all orphus holes, Rider Reido's shorts were already soiled and soaked before he hit the sopping streets to head off to the start grid. In the end, Rider Reido was noted for his courageous descending and perseverance to replace a blown-out tube, to sprint into a commendable podium finish.

In the end, the Ranchers all walked away satisfied that yet another Gran Fondo was universally conquered.

We are all 108!

I didn't know the Rider but I was watching the Giro on the Gazzetta yesterday when they mentioned the accident. Since the news of his death I can't stop thinking about this. This guy was 26 and was doing something he loved, he had a 5-mths pregnant wife... Today's stage was very moving, some of the videos on the Gazzetta.it are very moving, seeing all these spectators showing "108 Presente" (108 I'm here.. 108 was his number at the Giro) really freaked me out... Crazy you can die doing something you love doing and something that pays your bills.... RIP Wouter...

Ranch Victory - Xterra Renegade

Victory.

The word rings sweet, its realization elusive.

But the time has come. The Ranch has evolved.

On April 2, 2011, RiderTurbo won first place in the Xterra Renegade Off-Road Triathlon in Bonelli Park, San Dimas, Los Angeles, California. Competition in the recreation division could not be characterized as strong or deep. But a win is a win. The analog of a Sprint distance triathlon conducted alongside a competitive Olympic distance race, the Xterra recreation division consisted of a 1/2 mile open water lake swim, 7.5 mile mountain bike and 3 mile trail run. Turbo swam smooth in the lake, clobbered the mountain bike and harkened Rocky Mountain training days of old to run the rugged trails and cross the line ahead of all-comers. RiderMama, RiderZoe and Rider Sasha cheered at transitions and near the finish line as Turbo flew team colors during the award ceremony, getting called up on stage with a Ranch sleeveless jersey. Even got a Victory mug to prove it. New score. Ranch: 1. Competition: Zero.

Results and event website below.

Xterra Renegade Triathlon, Los Angeles, California, USA
Xterra Recreation Division Results

Pro Corner -- Ranch Fanbase Grows by One

Substituted the wheels for touring bindings, skins and hefty mountain backpack and completed the final segments of the Haute Route from Arolla to Zermatt over Easter. (Made it from Chamonix to Arolla last year, then had to abort due to tough weather...so this year me and my pals picked up where we left off to finish the trip.) No photos of that (yet), but...

Today, was taking a chill day and hanging out near Sion. Doing pointless relaxation stuff. Like buying superflous outdoor gear, buying "distinctive" local wine, lunch outside in the 25C sunshine, horking down superb locally made gelato etc etc. Drive back to Verbier about 5.30pm and, as we pass Martigny, Susie comes out with the magic words (that you don't really believe you are hearing) "hey, there is some kind of bike race going on over there".

Bing...180 degree turn is executed at the next roundabout. Bang...car is parked up. And boom...we are out to explore. Run right into the Garmin Cervelo team truck and they tell me it's the prologue for the Tour of Romandie. Sure enough, at 2 minute intervals, the pro boys are coming by, one by one, on the techno-wonder time trial bikes. Out comes the blackberry..."gotta get some shots for the blog".

It was about a 4km time trial prologue. Times in about the 3mins 50 range from what I could see.

Here we see some AG2R La Mondial guy cranking it for the finish line.

Pretty sure this is Ivan Basso, bringing it home.

Props to the local band, blasting out (I kid you not) The Pogues "Fairytale of New York". (Further proof, as if any was needed, that no one will ever, ever, ever figure out what makes Swiss people tick.) (Nice unintended pun there, btw.)

A lot of people would have used some two foot long telephoto lens wing-dinger on a ridiculously expensive pro level digital camera to get a shot like this. The SharkBite way, however, is easier: use your blackberry, take 11 crap photos because of the time delay on the dumb photo snapper thing, miss a bunch more while fiddling with the little zoom thingy that only seems to randomly work when it wants to...then finally get one right.

Bike porn, Cervelo style. This one belongs to...

David Millar, Team Garmin Cervelo. And what is his favourite thing to do after placing 5th in the opening prologue of a key pro tour?

That's right, you know it: pose for a primo photo for the Ranch, with the 'Bite!!!

Quality cannot be bought, baby. It must be lived.

And you never know when quality is going to come your way. Viva La Ranch!

How to justify spending $12,000 on an electric bike.

To stoke the summer blog season for the Ranch, I offer below a little review I wrote for Optibike in March 2010. A year and a half into field testing, we are CRAZY about these units. Highly recommended addition to the Ranch equipment fleet for those who have the coin and the mission. As an added bonus, they are produced in the Colorado home state of RiderLoneWolf, RiderMama. myself and honorary Ranch blog commentator Tea, on the very same roads where I cut my teeth cycling as a teenager on the lipstick red, 29 lb Tawainese made American Flyer road bike in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. -Turbine

“ How do you justify spending $12000 on a bicycle? You don’t. How do you justify spending $12000 on a second car, local commuter vehicle and high-end mountain bike all wrapped into one? Easy. Its called an Optibike.

My wife and I have ridden our 850R and 850R Helia Optibikes for six months daily in all types of conditions.

Our conclusion: the Optibike is the most innovative, convenient and exhilarating form of transportation invented in the past three decades. In urban environments within a 10 mile radius, the Optibike will transport you door-to-door faster than any other vehicle. Light and agile, it is easy to slip through traffic, use bike lanes, short-cut across small streets, alleys, parks, open spaces, parking lots and sidewalks, then park for free directly in front of wherever you are going. Average speeds can easily be 20-25 mph without getting sweaty, which leaves you in clean, presentable condition to attend a meeting in regular clothing.
For the majority of local trips when you need to carry only a few items, U-lock and cable in a backpack when it is not raining, the Optibike will replace your second car or motorcycle/scooter. My wife and I commute to work every day on our Optibikes faster and cheaper than we would in cars. The Optibike even beats our motorcycles and scooters locally because we get there just as fast, but always find front-door parking, and pay no parking meters or parking fines, not to mention using zero gasoline, creating zero tailpipe emissions and never wasting time stopping at gasoline stations.

On the road, the Optibike enables non-cyclists or slower cyclists to keep up with avid road cyclist enthusiasts, potentially giving friends or partners more time to spend together. On the trail, the Optibike is the most awesome form of mountain bike we have ever experienced. It climbs like a Himalayan mountain goat, carves single track with awesome agility, suspension and traction, and replaces what would otherwise be a prohibited highly-powered motocross bike on non-motorized parks, trails and mountains.

If you live in a hilly area, the Optibike may open up options for local errands, enabling you to climb hills around your home without getting too sweaty and over-exerting yourself when you simply want to run to the store or visit a friend or neighbor outside of walking distance. If you are a fitness enthusiast who uses heart rate, cadence and power in structured cycling workouts, you can do that on an Optibike too.

If you calculate the thousands of dollars you save on insurance premiums, annual license plate renewals, maintenance, SMOG checks, tires, oil, filters and fuel of a second vehicle, not to mention parking costs, the Return on Investment for the $12000 Optibike can easily reach the 15-20% level – i.e. $2000 or more per year — not bad for a “bicycle” that replaces a second car. A regular bicycle cannot make this claim because it cannot practically replace a vehicle like an Optibike can.

The Optibike can be configured with a “Chariot”-type bicycle trailer to transport the kids or a “Bob”-type trailer to haul gear bags. We are considering “Old Man Mountain” racks for full suspension bicycles to do touring on our Optibikes. The psychological benefit of knowing that you burn no gasoline and use very little depreciating material (i.e.65lb bike rather than 3000 lb metal car or 400lb motorcycle) to get from A to B is gratifying.

In sum, the Optibike is an extremely useful and convenient tool that leaves you wondering why millions of other people in cities don’t use it.

Once you get past the sticker shock and realize that the Optibike represents a second car, motorcycle/scooter and high end mountain bike all built-into-one, it becomes much easier to justify the price, particularly once you own one and begin to enjoy the benefits of using it. Coming from a couple who did extensive research before buying, we highly recommend the Optibike, particularly for people who fit the usage patterns described.

RiderTurbo

Santa Monica, CA”

Season Opener: Jackson Pole, Pedal, Paddle

An action packed winter for Ranch West Coast was punctuated on Feb 25 with the glorious birth of RiderSasha, daughter of RiderMama and RiderTurbo, little sister to RiderZoe, family member to Magic the yellow labrador.

After a brilliant winter of skiing at Mammoth Mountain and Mountain High in California, plus a few days in Colorado, Ranch West jetted up to Jackson Hole, Wyoming to race on March 26, 2011. The mission: relay race in the Jackson Hole Ski Club's famous Pole, Pedal Paddle race.

The race consists of a 3 mile downhill alpine ski race on the old Women's World Cup Downhill course followed by 10km cross-country skate ski, 20 mile bicycle time trial and 10 mile river kayak. Weather conditions are notoriously fickle in the Teton Valley in early spring and the team was prepared for anything from blustery snow to beaming sunlight on a cool, crisp spring morning.

RiderRenegade (AKA RiderMaverick), organized the event and hosted the fam at his Jackson pad. The plan was a relay: RiderRengade's 11 year old son "A-Train" on the downhill, Renegade himself on the XC skate ski, Turbo on the bicycle and Renegade plus partner in the Kayak. It didn't take much to get RiderMama to step up and pull front seat in the Kayak. But wait! SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH 4 WEEKS AGO and is still breastfeeding!

No mind. Despite deliberations with Turbo about possible detrimental impacts of decreased breastmilk production and excess lactic acid buildup in milk that might result from a 1 hour + all out kayak race effort, Mama was determined. She jumped in and gunned it.

Let there be no doubt now, if there ever was before: Mama is one tough cookie, a glutton for punishment, risk, pain, and basically just one hearty girl who loves getting out there and racing outdoors.

The race went well with A-train clocking up a 4:18 downhill, Renegade a 28:00 XC skate ski, Turbo a 55:00 time trial (7/63) and Renegade/Mama a 1h 9m Kayak (24/66).

This gave the group a 4th place finish out of 10 in the Recreational Men's Team division despite having an 11 year old who did the downhill ski and Mama who had recently given birth in the Kayak with Renegade. Respectable, no doubt:

Overall Results

The race was followed by a group lunch outside on a beer garden deck of 43 North restaurant watching the 2011 World Championship Snowmobile Hill Climb at SnowKing ski area, home to many of our tobacco chewin', beer drinkin', tattoo wearin', greasy fingernail bearin' friends from the motorsports world. Video of the 2008 race that was very similar:

Snowmobile Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoMXCed0XF4&feature=related

The next day, Renegade led Turbo and Mama on a 1.5 hour hike up off the tram at 11,000 feet with skis strapped to heli-packs where the threesome then skied off the ridge and got some deep powder face shots in the middle couloir of the Cody Bowl (pictured below)

Renegade and Turbo Crew Photo (Mama with Sasha in Baby Bjorn in middle, Zoe on Turbo's shoulders)

Jet home to the pad in sunny L.A.