Mama is BACK

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast and fast is a gift.

This seeming contradiction in terms defines many of the sporting greats: mastery and method produce efficient motion, superfluous movement is eliminated, time seems to stop, moving fast never looked so slow, and then in a flash of a brilliance, the clock stops, proving that smoothest is fastest.

Harken three years past, when Ridermama in the ascendancy of podium positions in European age-group triathlon chose another path --- forsaking competitive determination for the joy of parenthood. Pregnant and in process, Riderzoe was born giving rise to a new member of the Ranch. Since then, little has been heard from RiderMama.

But mistake not silence for complacency. Quietly and methodically behind the scenes -- like a shadow in the night -- Ridermama worked away diligently. Day by day, serving a higher purpose, Ridermama leveraged her way into a prestigous medical fellowship, laid the foundation of Riderzoe's childhood success and re-integrated a modicum of competitive training into the mix.

Like a mason stacking granite to reaveal a monument, the unveiling occured Sunday before last, when Ridermama appeared on the coast of California placing 16th out of 164 women in her age bracket in the Nautica Malibu triathlon.

Racing with Riderturbo and Riderzoe spectating, the team completed the 1/2 mile Pacific ocean swim, 18 mile bike and 4 mile run (800m/30km/6.5km) in 1 hour 50 minutes 3 seconds for Mama and 1 hour 40 minutes 14 seconds for Turbo (23rd out of 219) in a showing to make the Ranch proud.

Looking smooth while others gritted teeth, Mama glided through the water, rolled through the bike, and strided through the run with the grace and elegance befitting a champion -- reminding us all that smoothest is fastest.

Photos were snapped, smiles were shared and the west-coast Ranchers were oh-so-proud to proclaim that MAMA is BACK.

Versailles

Trying to iron out a few loops for when the Ranch brethren arrive in a couple weeks.

Here's the most difficult hill so far:

the chiche wedding

Normally a wedding follows a stag and that is exactly what happened as a few members of the ranch travelled to melbourne to give witness and state their approval. While most male cycling enthusiasts that follow this blog will turn off at this point - i know faithful reader tea and wedding aficiando ridermamma will want some sort of overview.

The week kicked off with RiderCrespo and RiderEasy-e flying from europe to OZ via hong kong which allowed a few days chez riderpitts. Ridercrespo made the most of his time rising early for runs around the peak, visiting local temples, exploring the various markets, and eating well. Ridereasy-e, true to his Latino roots, chose to live the life of a 17 year old sloth, and aside from a visit to mongkok and the venerable tailor Raja - preferred hong kong at night. This included a nightly skinny dip in the pitts pool and the eternal easy-e life questions posed while floating around bare assed to the stars.

Melbourne appears to be a very liveable city with cafes, coffee shops, and bars all hopping, oblivious to any sort of world downturn. The weekend paper felt heavier than the sunday new york times and on inspection was the result of a 90 page pull out with nothing but real estate classifieds. Draw your own conclusions there.

The friday night reception was held in the old gentleman's club of melbourne - the melbourne club. In a room fit only for a blazer and kaki's we listened to a history of the club while eating miniature steak pie's and slurping beer. Sarahs father gave everyone a lesson on how to address a room on the eve of his eldest daughters wedding - he is one smooth fellow.

The wedding was held at newnham college at the university of melbourne - the sacrament was not administered - however, the bride looked wonderful and chiche a handsome fellow - but the show was in part stolen by ridercrespo's 4 year old daughter valentina who acted as ring bearer and flower girl.

Following the church - a tour bus ran us around Melbourne and a brief history of the town was given. We drove the formula circuit and pasat the site of the Australian open.

The dinner was at the art gallery of melbourne - which was hosting a Dali exhibition. The room was magnificent with 60 foot ceilings and a stained glass roof. Here the stage was set for the inspirational and heartfelt wedding speeches that touched all. Ridercrespo was as elegant in his black tie as was his overview of the chiche - and of course chiche's speech was appropriate and wonderfully timed as one glimpse of the head table showed the male argentine contingent babbling like a bunch of jewish grandmothers watching Yentl.

This wedding - it can be safely summarised - was a perfect expression about all that is good in people, with the lingering sensation left in everybody that truly the chiche/sarah house is one built of stone.

A stag - ranch style

Once upon a time an otherwise innocuous post was scribed on this blog which contained a picture of a fellow - riderchiche - that resulted, all kidding aside - in a few of the ladies that follow the ranch and stalk its pages- calling the said writer and asking after the status of the young argentine gentleman. While little was made of these inquiries given the active filtering/standards/of the filteror - it will come with certain disappointment to part of our fan base - that riderchiche for lack of other sensible discriptors has decided to make a solo break of sorts and marry a lovely lady named Sarah. Now its not the purpose of the blog to debate the merit of leaving the peleton so early in the race - nope like any sensible band of brothers - the only cry that rung through the ranch train was STAG STAG STAG.

Now despite the varied nationalities of the ranch - STAGs do have universal appeal. They mean dancing girls, nut ticklers, beer bongs, two foot cigars, and large steaks. Stags by anybodies reference is a call to arms for all red blooded males to abandon morality, dispose of ring finger hardware, and stumble back into post exam college stupors as those golden drops of beer nectar wash away any guilt of the ritual. God - has given man one more chance at a hallway pass - a kind of adult get out of jail free card.

And so it goes for our rider - rider chiche. A stag for a giant lady producer from latin america whom once sported shoulder length hair and Pantera concert T's - while the possibilities were as endless as the investment opportunities for the 250mln of fresh usd in his new fund - there was one catch. Oh the shame of missing the catch.

We were talking about the ranch.

So the build up came to pass in the same way as a 14 year old boy discovering that just because you buy her a movie ticket doesnt mean you she will take her top off in the second row.

We met - some of us from far far away in Zurich - the riderhowe, the ridereasy-e, the riderzinni, the ridercali, the riderpitts, and the birthday boy - riderchiche. And we rode bikes. We went to bed early, we got up early, we climbed 17km alpine passes, we sprinted long flats, we descended at 78kmh and we hurt.

We talked about gear, markets, love, and real estate. We debated logistics and future races. We talked about riderNoShows manscaping and wine picking, we argued about the size of ridercrespo's back door, we toasted riderstemcell's carbo fear with buns from the zueghauskeller, we poked fun at the riderturbo's fondness for 4 quid buffets and we argued about riderlonewolf's holiday allotment. It was all normal - and we won. Convention and adolescent ritual to the side - the ranch again takes its own path and does things in its own way. Normal.

Performance

Youtube video lampoon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn29DvMITu4

Transalp 2010 Dates

Okay ladies, the dates for the Transalp are 27th of June through the 3rd of July.
You have until November 30, 2010 to decide. The start numbers are drawn by lottery on the 1st of December at noon. For those of you who do not rule the roost, it is time to put on some pants and bring some order. Are you a man, or a little boy? For those Ranchers sporting female mammalian protuberances, take no offense, you can also ride the Transalp.

Love,
StemCell

Power Lunch with Pitts

Power lunched with Rider Pitts toady in Frankfurt. Pitts perfects hand-rubbed ribs, tomatoes, water and cottage cheese for T´s waistline! Planned out potential future: Spokes, Strings and Edges. Met the cute Pitt kids driving Grandma crazy.

Ranch cycler´s need to start thinking seriously about next years Tour Trans-alp (road bike. We need a contingent at this race and I will personally set up the training agenda!

Giddyup!